When I wake up tomorrow it will be one year since I woke up anxious, sobbing and innately knowing this is why people kill themselves. I have been keenly aware of this date coming and wondered how it would affect me. Since there has never been a definitive answer as to why this happened, there is still a lingering curiosity that occasionally crosses my mind.
I believe that it is no coincidence that I started my blog after years of putting it off and 11 days later I was immersed in darkness. Satan used all my weaknesses against me to put me there when I finally made the choice to obey what God put on my heart.
Thankfully the victory for all of us was won the day Jesus proclaimed “It is finished” on the cross. (John 19:30)
10 weeks of darkness turned into 42 weeks of bearing fruit. I learned as I clawed my way back to Jesus and His light that my time here on earth is short. When we choose to follow Jesus, our purpose becomes really clear; to love and serve like Jesus. We are to be a reflection of Him, calling the world to His glorious light!
I have been blessed in the last 42 weeks to have the Holy Spirit lead me to new ministries. I don’t believe I would have heard or obeyed Him before that 10 weeks in 2018, and that is the blessing from those 10 weeks.
My website has been a constant source of frustration that comes from my limited knowledge of such things. I finally decided to make plans to learn and grow in this area so I can better glorify God through the web page.
I have also been working on a plan to bring you all a podcast, and while it is going slower than I anticipated, it will be coming soon. This is an opportunity to expand the blog and hear other people’s amazing stories.
Finally, God has put another ministry on my heart that I cannot wait to share with you all. It is a ministry for women in our area who face a variety of challenges, and need to find their worth. More to come on that as we go through the steps necessary to build a not-for-profit. But I will tell you that my heart is overflowing with what God is up to!
Tomorrow, when I wake up, I fully expect to wake up excited to serve Jesus wherever He leads me. I am so thankful for the dreams He has put on my heart and for friends and family who passionately see the vision and eagerly lend their gifts to support His work.
If you are struggling today, or you struggle every day – my prayer is you can find rest in Jesus. That you can take the darkness the enemy has surrounded you with and find the sliver of light Jesus is shining on you. When you find it, you will reflect Him and the enemy will know He has lost again. That will be your hope as you hear His voice and He leads you to what He has put on your heart.
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with me, and He will live with them. They will be His people and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ Revelation 21:3-4
Oh, isn’t that a beautiful picture? God will live WITH us! Our time here is short to be used wisely and for His glory. But our eternity is living with Jesus, and I want to make sure the whole world knows!